All Downhill From Here

Thanks for all your comments on my Last post (sure, we’ll just leave that pun in there).

Now I just wonder how I can/if I should convey this concept to my 12 y.o. son. He moved up a division to a new, slightly more competitive soccer team for the outdoor season, and their first game was last night.

Aside (for running content sake): Since it was my running night and GORGEOUS out, I dressed in my running shorts and dropped him off at his game field. He warmed up with the team, and I explored a corner of Arbour Lake I hadn’t yet. Arbour Lake has a few darn good hills in it, and I found a good one that I ended up running up about three times, in between looping around a small city acreage/farm and checking back on Soccer-Boy’s game.

They played an “exhibition” game (meaning it doesn’t count in the standings) and got slammed 8-0. They held their own for the first 2/3 of the game (0-0), and then fell apart stamina-wise at the end. His is a “young team” for this division (U-14) and though I expected this, he didn’t. He was TICKED.

I did point out to him the several amazingly brave and intuitive plays he made on defence against players who seemed to me to be much bigger than him. He ran hard and played hard, but all he could focus on afterwards was their loss and his disappointment. He hadn’t even wanted to be there, as there was a school dance that he was missing out on and he wasn’t actually required to play as it didn’t count in the standings and why did he have to miss the dance to lose…

How could I tell him that every game played together as a team, especially the losing ones, bond them together bit by bit and show the coach what there is to work on for next time? How could I drum into his brain that it is games like this where you learn what your teammates and yourself are made of?

How could I teach him that, like in making myself run up those darn hills, this is how one develops good character?

I didn’t know how to say it, so I handed him what was left in my water bottle (he’d finished his), kept my trap shut and listened to him fuss for a couple of minutes. Then told him if he wanted to catch the last hour of his dance he should pick up his attitude or we’d just go straight home. He caught that point quick enough, and changed his clothes while I played a soothing Billy McLaughlin (acoustic guitar) CD on the way over.

I curled up in my sweats with the hamburger pillow in the back seat and finished reading my book “How to Be a Canadian” by Will Ferguson while Soccer/Social-Butterfly Boy enjoyed his pounding music dance therapy.

I have a feeling that there is some sort of irony or symbolism in wanting to teach my son to lose with dignity and in reading a satirical book about Canadian attitudes, but that will have to wait for another post – I’m late for work.